Monday, 17 June 2013

Sooooooo Cute benches - Tamsin's perspective


There's no getting around it, is there? If you're doing small, you're doing cute. Puppies, kittens, babies. It's going to be adorable. But don't worry if you don't like cute and tiny: it'll get big and ugly soon enough. 

I've asked Tamsin, Goddess of All Things Cute, to help me out here. Who else could cope with something as cute as this tiny little bench with its pretty miniature cushions? 



image from www.etsy.com/shop/dalesdreams

(Tamsin, not yet recovered from the cuteness of the puppies, is now squealling uncontrollably about the cuteness of the bench.)

Tamsin is my neighbour here in Fribble-under-Par. She is pretty cute and pretty small. Here she is at the final fitting of her wedding dress. 






Tamsin is soon to be married to Root, the son of Lord Brassica, Fifth Earl of Drizzly. Eventually Root will be the Sixth Earl of Drizzly and Tamsin will be Lady Brassica. 





But apart from his title and its privileges, Root is no prize. 

Here are Root and Tamsin on a typical night out at the Dustpan and ipod.






See what I mean? Tamsin is small and cute. Root is small and drunk. 

Tamsin: I don't know why you say Root is small. He's a very tall fellow. 

As small plastic toys go, you're right, Tamsin. But to me tall means seriously tall. Like these police constables who were on patrol in Fribble last night.





Or this bench in Holland.




image from www.flickr.com/people/nillyo

Oh, I see what you mean. Tall!

Tamsin works at the Nearly Good Enough Pharmacy where she's known to be exceptionally cheerful and just about good enough at handing out prescriptions. 




I hope you're not going to tell them about the time I got Mrs. Paragon's blood pressure tablets mixed up with Lord Brassica's Viagra.

No, Tamsin, I wasn't going to bring that up. 

And pleeeeease don't repeat that story about the hemorrhoid cream and the eye ointment.

I wouldn't dream of mentioning it. 

So on to Big. There are big benches all over the world but the most photographed one of all seems to be the one in Broken Hill, New South Wales in Australia. 

Sounds lovely. Do you have a picture?

Indeed I do. 

Ohhhhh, this is awesome.

Oh yes, this bench is BIG. It's 2.5 times normal size and everybody loves having their picture taken on it. 

But there are big benches all over the place. Here's Miggy on a bench at Narbonne in France.




And Mungo too.




Miggy looks a lot bigger than Mungo. 

Enough said about that, Tamsin. Back to benches. 

I could have a picture of just about everyone in the world taking their turn getting photographed on big benches. 



image from http://www.reagansblob.com

I don't mean to be rude but wouldn't that get a bit boring?

Clever girl, Tamsin. That's why I'm just going to show a few big benches.

For example, here's one in Switzerland celebrating the anniversary of a Swiss bank. 


https://www.flickr.com/photos/rvoegtli/17012642108/

And here are a couple of guys on a really big bench in Eastern Oregon.


image from Tommy Nguyen at http://www.flickr.com/photos/perception

These guys are kind of small, aren't they?

That's one way of looking at it I suppose. What about this one?



photo by Monica Matthews

I thought I was small! lol! There's a whole world of small people out there, just like me!

Tamsin, I think you're going to have to get a perspective on this. Ask yourself one question: small? Or far away?

That's two questions!

OK, have a look at this.





OMG, this bike is sooooo cute! Even someone with little legs like mine could ride it!

Ask yourself the two questions. 

Hmmmm . . .  I've asked myself and I can't work out the answer.

Never mind. Let's move on. Here's a giant park bench in Leeds city centre which was just there for a couple of weeks during the Christmas season in 2000. 


image from www.leedsguide.co.uk/review/feature/giant-park-bench

Golly! Is there no end of big benches?

I was wondering that myself. Let's look at some other big stuff, shall we? 
Here is my imaginary friend Miggy peering over the edge of a very big red wagon in Spokane, Washington.



photo by Miggy's mum

I really like this but I kind of thought the point was benches. Maybe I've got confused? 

No, Tamsin, you are absolutely right. We'll stick with big benches. Like this seriously big bench in Buenos Aires.

This is really cool! 

I thought so too. And what about this big Paul Bunyan in The Trees of Mystery in California? Here is Miggy's niece Lettie with her dad, sitting on Paul's boot. 




lol. This guy must be mega! 

No, he's only about five foot nine. 

Oh, I see. You mean Paul. Yes, Paul is 49 feet tall. Here he is with his blue ox, Babe.




I thought Babe was a pig?

Maybe he was a pig who started out as an ox. The question is, how much big stuff do we want to look at here? 

Maybe just a little bit more?

OK, so here is one of the big benches they have in Germany. They're all over the place. Miggy and I found them all through the Eifel region when we were cycling there last summer. This one is in Gerolstein.

Notice how Miggy fills up her bench while I barely take up any space at all on mine. That's me on the left by the way. 





No offence but I'm kind of losing interest here. Can we do the small cute ones now?

We can. What do you think of this?


image from Public Record office Northern Ireland

This little girl is sooooo cute! She's looks so much older standing on this bench.

I hadn't thought of it that way. I wonder if you mean taller?

Do I? Yes, maybe I do.

What about this one?


image from Public Record Office Northern Ireland

Oh I love this! She looks so retro. 

I don't think retro is quite the right word. Let's try one more. 

Here is a child and a baby and a fish. Which do you think is larger?



image from Shinobu Matsuo

Ohhhhh, it's hard to work out which one is larger when they're all side-by-side. Maybe we should compare cuteness instead? Those kids are so cute! 

No offence to the fish: it's cute as well!

Tamsin, you really are the Queen of Cute. 

Tamsin: If I had to put my finger on it, I'd say small is cuter than big.

Like this?





Tamsin: OMG, this finger is sooooo big! 

Anyway, it's size we are talking about here. With images, size is a question of perspective. 

Is this a small bench or a large dog?

image from Mark J. Asher at http://amzn.to/15bAAAX

Just guessing, I'd say it's a small dog on a large bench?

So this one is what - a large dog on a small bench?



image from www.etsy.com/shop/suescami

Hmmmmm. Not sure.


And what about this one - small cat or large bench? 


image by Helen Danby

So let me get this right: if you have a dog on a bench it's large, but if you have a cat on a bench it's small?

You're not just a pretty face, are you Tamsin?  What about this one?



image from www.bigalcarson.com


That's a tough one. I can't tell if it's the man that's large or the bench that's small. 

You've really got a grip on this perspective thing, haven't you, Tamsin? 

Here is Miggy and her little tiny mum. What do you think - small? Or far away?




Miggy's mum is sooooo cute! Miggy must be very tall!

On the contrary. Here is Miggy looking exceptionally short.



Mega lol. What am I like? I really am confused by all this! Is this Miggy and her mum when Miggy was a child?

No. This is Miggy and her twin brother.

Really? They look nothing alike. 

Moving quickly along then, would you say this is a town or a city?

photo by Miggy's mum

Ohhh, you're teasing me now! Everyone knows that's New York. I recognise it from watching Friends

And who is this, Girls Aloud?



Before you answer I'll tell you. It's Miggy and her mum and her granny at the Lilliput Doll and Toy Museum on the Isle of Wight. 'Lilliput' is a word associated with small, as in Gulliver's Travels. 

I've never been to Gulliver. I've been to Drizzly though. That's just down the road from Fribble. 

You need to get out more, Tamsin. 

Yeah, I know what you mean. But this isn't really about benches, is it? 

You're so right. What about some long benches then? Here's one in Amsterdam that's one hundred metres long.


image from www.droog.com 

Cool! You could get the whole population of Fribble and Drizzly on this bench couldn't you?

You could. But it might not be a good idea. Here's another very long bench in Japan. It's called the Eel Bench and it's in Nakatsu in Oita Prefecture.



image from http://zoomingjapan.com

So do they use this bench for catching eels?

I doubt it very much. 

Where's the longest bench in the world then? It's not in Drizzly, is it?

No, definitely not. It's in Littlehampton in West Sussex. Here's proof:




Can we see it?

We can indeed. Here's the bit where it looks something like a normal bench:


image from Camilla Lambert


And here's the bit where it looks like something else:


image from Eco Ethel at http://ecoethel.blogspot.co.uk

But before you get too excited, Japan also claims to have the longest bench in the world.


image from http://common.wikimedia.org

Ohhhhh, this is sooo difficult! I can't get my head around all this perspective stuff. 

We're coming to the end now so what would you like to see?

I'd like to see the teeny tiniest bench you found.

OK, here it is.



image from www.etsy.com/shop/beadcharm

(Squealing) This is sooooo cute! 

It's tiny. You'll have to take my word for it. 

But I think we'll finish here with a picture of a very sweet little girl on a park bench in her bicycle helmet.



image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/patflinschrod

OMG, this is the cutest girl I have ever seen! Totally. This is awesome. 

Thank you, Tamsin. You've been a nearly good enough guest editor. 

I've learned a lot doing this. I am a very small person but if I marry Root I will be the Lady of a very big castle.




And you know this thing about small and far away that we've been talking about? Well, I think that applies to me. I've had some small doubts about marrying Root and now that the wedding is closer up and not so far away, I think maybe these doubts are getting bigger.

Funny you should say that, Tamsin. Because someone has written I love you always on the roof of your house. 

Who do you think that might be?






Credits

Tamsin, I beg you, don't marry Root. You have green shoes and a bright, pretty smile and a nearly good enough job. You do not have to be the Sixth Lady Brassica married to a drunken Earl. You do not need to wear silly outfits designed by Joop from Overbearing in Holland. You should not be a look-alike with your mother-in-law. You are small and cute. I know the wedding is large and looming but please get out before it gets any closer.

How do you get ten puppies to stay on a bench so you can get their photograph? Gini managed it when Arlette and Hoss had their litter of ten Greater Swiss Mountain puppies in 2000. They're from Brushcreek Farm in Philipsburg, Missouri. Gini's photostream is at http://www.flickr.com/photos/modcustomjewelry

The pretty little white bench with colourful cushions is one of the many wonderful miniatures made by Dale for her shop at www.etsy.com/shop/dalesdreams

Tamsin's wedding dress is from Joop's Tourbillon de filet collection, made at his studio in Overbearing in Holland. Joop is the designer for Lady Brassica, Tamsin's future mother-in-law, who is trying to get Tamsin's wardrobe smartened up so that Tamsin can eventually become the sixth Lady Drizzly. This is difficult because 1) Tamsin has very short legs and 2) she has bright green shoes which do not come off. It has to be said that Joop is frustrated with trying to design dresses for Tamsin. For other dresses in Joop's collection, including Tamsin's rejected wedding dresses,  see http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/romantic-white-benches.html 

The tall bench in Holland was photographed by Nilly Oren in Amsterdam in 2005. It appeared in my Alphabet of Dutch Benches post in May. Nilly is an Israeli photographer who travels widely and photographs all kinds of amazing things. Her photostream is on Flickr at http://www.flickr.com/people/nillyo/

The big red bench in Broken Hill, New South Wales is from Jan Williams at The Caravan Gallery, which tours around with brilliant photographic exhibitions.  See http://www.thecaravangallery.co.uk   I have used many photographs from The Caravan Gallery on Benchsite. See, for example their interesting bus stop benches at http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/bus-stop-benches-around-world.html

Mungo and Miggy were delighted to come upon a very big bench in the Archbishops' Garden at Narbonne cathedral in France. It's fair to say that Migs had quite a hard time hoisting herself up onto the bench but once there, she was perfectly happy to sit in the autumn sun. 

Paul Bunyan is at the Trees of Mystery near Klamath, California. Paul was a legendary logger in the area so it's a wonder there are still any redwood trees standing. Babe, by the way, is 35 feet tall. Lettie is four feet tall and her dad Joe is . . .  it really doesn't matter, does it?

Rosmarie Voegtli has albums full of all kinds of things - textures, theatre, plants, animals, landscapes, wrinkles - and benches. There's a very large one from the Swiss Bank Institute, who gave 150 benches to the public in 2014. Looks like it might have been their anniversary. Apparently most of the benches are a normal size. https://www.flickr.com/photos/rvoegtli/17012642108/

The big wooden bench with two guys on it is Tommy Nguyen and his friend on their bike trip in the John Day country in Eastern Oregon. It's a stunning landscape and you can see photos of it on Tommy's photostream at http://www.flickr.com/photos/perception.

Monica Matthews and her friend Maria saw the big orange sofa at a furniture store in California and were kind enough to send it to me. OK, it's not exactly a bench but it's close enough. And it's a good way of teaching Tamsin about perspective. As for Tamsin, small brain or big heart? You decide. 

Collideous, who lives in Biel, Switzerland, sent me the bicycle picture from Mont-Crosin in  the Canton of Berne.  He quite rightly called it Shrinkage, though clearly Tamsin doesn 't get the message.  Apart from being a web developer, Collideous is a very serious cyclist and if you enjoy stunning scenery viewed from a bike, his photostream will please you.  This is cycling at its best! https://www.flickr.com/photos/collideous/14148805711/

The big bench in Leeds was put there in January 2000 by Panasonic, in order to publicise its Lumix compact camera. It was only there for two weeks but much enjoyed during that time. I can't get the link to work,but here is the reference  www.leedsguide.co.uk/review/feature/giant-park-bench

The Seriously Big Bench is the green bench with three couples on it in Buenos Aires. It was photograhed by Mike Wegner, aka Uncamikey, who has a whole set of bench photographs at http://www.flickr.com/photos/uncamikey/sets/72157632724601980/  His other Flickr photos are at http://www.flickr.com/photos/uncamikey/6179060355/

You may have noticed that the second big green bench is the same bench. Like the Broken Hill bench, the Buenos Aires green bench has been much photographed. This photo is from Reagan, who travelled to Argentina in 2012 and likes things to be slightly Aliced, as she puts it. As in Aliced in Wonderlanded. You know what she means, don't you? Reagan's blob is at http://www.reagansblob.com  

The tall woman with Miggy is not Miggy's Mum or Miggy's twin brother. It's Walking Woman, one of Sean Henry's sculptures, photographed in the grounds of Salisbury Cathedral in August 2011. Walking Woman is 2.2 metres tall and was sculpted in 2008. www.seanhenry.com  

The two little girls on benches are both from the Public Record Office Northern Ireland, who has generously made lots of photographs available via their Flickr site at http://www.flickr.com/photos/proni   These girls were both photographed in 1910 by HF Cooper in Strabane. Details of the photos can be traced through the reference numbers shown in my links. 

The baby and the little girl and the fish were photographed by Shinobu Matsuo in Japan. The baby is Emi, the little girl is Miyu. I don't suppose the fish has a name. 

The Great Dane photograph in black and white is by Mark J. Asher.The photo appears in his first book, Old Friends, which is available on Amazon at http://amzn.to/15bAAAX.  Mark's shop with many other photographs of dogs and other things is at www.etsy.com/shop/markjasher

The dog on the bench is a stoneware miniature by Sue Scamihorn in Wabash, Indiana. It's called That dog Won't Stay Off My Bench. She has a cat who won't stay off her bench as well. The dog is just two inches tall and the bench is three inches. Besides stoneware Sue does garden miniatures, wall spots, whistles, deocrative pottery and jewelry. Her shop is at www.etsy.com/shop/suescami

The tiny cat on the (medium) bench is Fundy. The lovely bench is from an old Quaker Meeting House on the Isle of Wight. Helen Danby bought Fundy at a charity fund-raising sale, thus the name Fundy. For some purrrfect cat benches, have a look at Meredith's cat blog. 

The big guy on the bench is Big Al Carson from New Orleans. He's a blues and jazz singer whose band plays at The Funky Pirate in Bourbon Street. If you've never heard him, you're in for a treat. Try www.bigalcarson.com click on the videos and go from there. 

Many thanks to Miggy's Mum for the photos. 'New York' is Godshill Model Village on the Isle of Wight. The Lilliput Doll and Toy Museum is in Brading, Isle of Wight: Miggy's grandma was 83 at the time and having her first tour of Britain. 

Miggy and her Mum were on the porch of Newtown Town Hall on the Isle of Wight. Newtown is actually very, very old.  If you've ever seen the hilarious episode of Father Ted you'll know that Small is different from Far Away. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh5kZ4uIUC0

In 2006 the Dutch Ministry of Foreign Affairs commissioned design company Droog to create a gift for the waterfront in Amsterdam. Architect Claudia Linders designed the 100 metre red bench for the Space to Take Place project in Ijburg near Amsterdam. This bench also features in my Alphabet of Dutch Benches.  Linders is principal of the Bureau Claudia Linders, a studio for interdisciplinary research and design. Her work can be seen at www.droog.com and at  www.claudialinders.nl

The Eel Bench is from the blog of Jasmine Blossom, who is a blogger, photographer and teacher in Japan. She speaks Japanese and blogs (very interestingly) about life in Japan at http://.zoomingjapan.com  The Nakatsu City eel bench is the longest eel bench in Japan. Then again, I'm not sure how many eel benches there are in Japan. For more sea benches see the World Oceans Day post. 

The Littlehampton Bench is made from reclaimed wood and was opened in 2010. It was designed by www.studioweave.com. It is 2,000 feet long and can seat 800 people. The Japanese bench in Ishikawa Prefecture is in the Guinness Book of World Records in 2008 as the longest bench; the one shown is 406 metres (http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/file:longest_bench) And a Japanese bench designed by Mikio Tanaka in August 2011 is 653 metres long and seats 1360 people.  

The normal bit of the Littlehampton bench is Daniel on a Bench by my writing friend Camilla Lambert from West Sussex. She has a habit of photographing Daniel on scenic benches so it's great to have this.

The twisty bit of the Littlehampton bench is an image sent to me by Eco Ethel, who describes herself as a cyber numpty. She has a lovely blog about doilies and gardens and all kinds of stuff; her Poetic Pants poem is worth a look too. http://ecoethel.blogspot.co.uk

The teeny tiniest bench is from Terry Gozeski at beadcharm in Massachusetts. It's a handbeaded dollhouse miniature scale (1" to 1")  of an antique gold metal figurine on a round filigree brass base. It's a hand applied green pearl patina, with one tiny clay flower and 15/0 petite Czech seed beads and tiny glass no hole micro beads as accents. Sounds like a large amount of work for something so small! Terry's shop is at www.etsy.com/shop/beadcharm

Patti Flinsch-Rodriquez took the photograph of her daughter on a park bench in 2007. Such a lovely girl and a sweet bike helmet! Patti's photostream is at http://www.flickr.com/photos/patflinschrod

Despite Tamsin's doubts about marrying Root, the wedding is going ahead. Here is your invitation:




If you want to see preparations for the wedding, you can follow Tamsin through the sunny summer. You can attend the (three) Scottish weddings in summer 2013. Beyond that, you can see who sent Tamsin a hearty heart Valentine bench in 2014. And then you're on your own. 







Monday, 10 June 2013

An Orange bench mystery


I can never get enough orange. If I had a fairy godmother I'd conjure myself a Sunshine and Magic bench like this one:



 www.etsy.com/shop/fantasycrafts


An orange bench is a wonderful thing. 


 http://blogs.gonomad.com/traveltalesfromindia/

This one is at the Jamia Millia Islamia University campus in New Delhi. But in fact, I have never seen an orange bench I didn't like. 


Look at these gorgeous pumpkins on an orange bench! 

 http://www.flickr.com/people/elijahgarcia


I think I must have started my life on an orange bench and grown into it.


photo by Ashleigh Peak at www.ashleighpeak.com

Nowadays I put on my favourite orange t-shirt and have a blissful orange day.


image from www.ebay.com

No one is interested in your favourite colour, Seashell. 

Oh, hello, Eddie. I should have known you'd have something to say about orange. 

For those of you who don't know him, Eddie is my Inner Editor. He has a way of popping up and 'helping' me edit posts. But there is a fine line between help and interference.

Normally you introduce me as a primate. That's very important. Here's a picture of me at work. 




Eddie, I wasn't expecting you on this post. I asked Lady Brassica to help out on this one. I don't think your help is needed.

So where is she then? If she's going to be an editor, where is she?

Well, admittedly she hasn't turned up yet. Apparently she is stuck in an airport somewhere.


 http://www.etsy.com/shop/cricicis


I see you are showing airport seating here. Is this relevant?

Well, yes, I think it is. Because as I said, Lady Brassica is at an airport and these are Herman Miller airport seats. They're something special, apart from being orange. 

This bench by designer Alisa Looney is called Contact. Look how people come together on an orange bench.


photo by Pam McDonald

I expect Lady B has some important contacts and some very playful connections.


photo by Pam McDonald


Speaking of airports, and purely by coincidence, there is a bench by designers at Orange 22 called Flight. This is the Flight coffee table, but you get the idea.


 http://wwwdesignlab.com

Very nice. Where is the airport? 

Orange County, California. 

Pathetic link if you ask me.

I didn't ask you. 

Lady Jessica Brassica is partial to orange too. She wears it to make an assertive fashion statement. Here she is with her future daughter-in-law, Tamsin, who is also wearing orange. 





It has to be said that Tamsin is less suited to orange than Lady B is.

This looks like those netty things they sell fruit in.

Well, yes, the orange dresses are from the Tourbillon de filet collection, which translates as swirl of net. They were designed by Lady B's personal designer, Joop, from Overbearing in Holland. 

Oh yes, they know a thing or two about orange in Holland.

If you're a regular reader of Bench Site you may have seen the gorgeous orange Amsterdam bench in the Alphabet of Dutch benches. 

Or this brilliant knitted bench by Claire Anne O'Brien in Ireland.


http://www.claireanneobrien.com 


What could possibly lead you to believe you have regular readers? 

Eddie, I'd appreciate your support here. 

OK, don't get your knickers in a twist.


 www.brodieneill.com

I see what you're doing here. Twist, right? And this is the E-turn bench by Brodie Neill. What a beautiful sculptural bench; all twists and turns and flowing, dynamic angles. It reminds me of a ribbon unravelling into eternity.

This bench reminds me of the bars I used to play on as a child. 



 www.reddoorantiquestupelo.com


That's sad, Eddie. I don't like to think of you behind bars.

I wasn't behind them. I was on them. Haven't you ever heard of monkey bars?

I have heard of monkey bars, yes. We used to have them in the park. And by the way, here is an orange park bench.


 www.parkbenchsource.com

That was not a smooth link. You can't just say Here is this bench, here is that bench. Booooorrrrrring. 

Sorry, Eddie. I'll try to do better. It's just that blogging has its ups and downs. 

Like this orange seesaw bench by Didi Dunphy. It rocks! 



 www.modernconvenience.com

These benches deserve better than silly puns. I think you'd better read up on the finer points of editing.

Funny you should say that. Here is a bench made of books. 





It's by Derrick Method at Derrick Method Designs in Indianapolis. Maybe one of them is a book on editing blog posts. 

These puns are threatening to spiral out of control.

I know. Sorry.




This isn't a bench.

No. It's a spiral of oranges. They drop down from the top floor to the floor below, where there is a guy who squeezes them into orange juice. Cool, huh?

This isn't a bench. 

It's orange though. And they're real oranges.

Yes. But this isn't a bench. And have you noticed that the print here is red rather than orange?

I have, yes. I was hoping readers wouldn't notice.

OK, I'm going to show you two benches, both by the same designer. First, here is the Kirv bench by Alex Moore. 


 www.mooredesigns.co.uk


Wow! 

And here is the low curved bench, also by Alex Moore.


 www.mooredesigns.co.uk

Great benches, both of them. But what is your point, Eddie?

Can you spot the difference in these two benches?

Yes, of course. One is curved and the other one is . . . kirved. 

But colourwise. Can you see that one is red and one is orange? Therefore one belongs here and the other one doesn't.

You're too hung up on colour, Eddie. You need to find a nice bench and chill.


 www.etsy.com/shop/printsbystellachili

This bench is white.


Are you paying attention, Eddie? Under this white bench it says Take a deep breath and relax! 

How can I relax when I am editing a post about orange benches and it's full of white benches and red typeface and fruit?

Look, here's a nice big comfy orange bench where you can put up your feet and chillax. 

This lady recommends it.


photo by Monica Matthews

This is a sofa.

There's a fine line between a sofa and a bench. Let's say it's a bench.


Is the bench in captivity? It looks like it's tied up and can't get away. 

You're really stressed out, Eddie. Maybe you should try some meditation?



 www.wikimedia.org/jardindesplantes

Or camping? You could drive around Paradise Island and camp on the beach somewhere. 

Here is a nice orange VW van with a bright orange bench that pulls out into a bed.


image from VWT4 forum


I'm not the camping type. I like a more substantial shelter.

OK, how about this then?


photo  by Sheila B.

Eddie? Eddie? 

Come on, keep your shirt on!



 www.etsy.com/shop/unknownarts

I think that was one pun too many. 

Eddie, like Elvis, seems to have left the building.

And now I'm getting pressed for time. I'm inclined to think you'd call that Bench Pressed. 

This is the Arched Incline Bench from Watson Gym in Somerset. They make all kinds of gym equipment, including bars. 



 http://watsongym.co.uk


I wonder if they make monkey bars? 

But maybe Eddie's right: I'd better stop with the puns.

As it happens, it's lucky Eddie was here because Lady Brassica still hasn't appeared to help me with the post. Apparently she's stuck in Orange County with her Young Male Reader. 



© Sandy Matzen | Dreamstime Stock Photos

Must be a waterproof book.

I can imagine them on a racy orange bench like this Alto Duo bench by Danetti Interiors. 


http://www.danetti.com



But what's this? 

Miggy is telling me she has just seen Lady B right here in Fribble on an orange bench with a certain Garçon Orange.




Gosh, this really is an orange bench. You can either sit on it or eat the oranges. 

You may remember Garçon Orange. He's the Younger Self of the formidable French chef Jench de Bench from Potirons. And Jench's house just happens to be orange.


 www.lejardinetdesigns.com


Jench and Garçon left under something of a cloud after a disastrous job on editing my Edible Bench post. Here they are before everything went wrong.





And afterwards, though I denied it, some people suspected I turned them into (orange) soup.  




It was thought that Garçon was living in Rotterdam, a good place for people who are partial to orange. 




But now Garçon Orange is back and Miggy is telling me to put two and two together.

Two what? Two oranges?

Miggy is telling me not to be stupid. What would Lady B be doing with Garçon?

Well, what does Lady B do with anyone? Maybe Garçon is a Young Male Reader? Maybe they're reading Clockwork Orange. Or Oranges Aren't the Only Fruit. Or Tangerine Dream. Or Gone With The Satsuma.

Now Miggy is telling me that she saw Tamsin down on the Esplanade with Garçon.




What's going on? 

Miggy says she smells a conspiracy here.

Personally, I can't smell one. 

All I can smell are oranges.



© Chrissie Shepherd | Dreamstime Stock Photos
Credits

Coloured benches! Dontcha just love 'em? If you enjoyed the orange benches you might want to see some romantic white ones. Or some bright red ones. You might like some silver and gold ones. And if that's not enough, there are some very, very depressing blue ones for Blue Monday

The Orange Sunshine fairy bench is from Linda Dennis in Oklahoma, who makes exquisite garden miniatures. She believes that if you believe in magic, you will find it. She's influenced by Irish fairy tales and 'the little people'  so maybe it's not surprising that she makes fairy garden miniatures, witches, and gothic miniatures. Orange Sunshine and Magic is actually sold but you can see loads of other fairy benches in different colours on her etsy site at www.etsy.com/shop/fantasycrafts 

The New Delhi bench is called Orange Bench on a Sunny Day. It was photographed in 2009 by Mridula Dwivedi at Jamia Millia Islamia University campus in New Delhi. Mridula is a travel writer, professor, and nomad. She writes a terrific travel blog at www.gonomad.com/corp/mriduladwivedi/html I first saw her Tales from India at http://blogs.gonomad.com/traveltalesfromindia/

The pumpkins on an orange bench are from the Flickriver site of Eli and Anne-Marie. They claim they're not photographers; they just love taking pictures of neat stuff. And golly, do they photograph some neat stuff! My favourites are the shelves of stuff, especially the Pyrex dishes. Brings back a lot of memories when I see those.  http://www.flickr.com/people/elijahgarcia

You knew the Ashleigh Peak photographs weren't me, didn't you? Ashleigh Peak is a professional photographer in Memphis, Tennessee. She specialises in photographing babies and children, including her own. She photographed baby Foster, one of her clients, as a newborn and then again as a six month old in August 2010. Ashleigh's website is at www.ashleighpeak.com 

The Bench dot t-shirt was on ebay in January 2013 for 99 cents. If I had known that, I would have sat up all night waiting to get it and offering a whole lot more than 99 cents. 

The Herman Miller Airport chairs postcard is from Leah Ammerman, who has an intriguing array of paper products in her shop at etsy. The Herman Miller airport chairs can be purchased as postcards, notecards or bookplates. Leah clearly knows a thing or two about chairs. Herman Miller was a Michigan man who became famous as a mid-century furniture designer/producer. Leah's shop is at http://www.etsy.com/shop/cricicis

Alisa Looney's Contact bench in Cannon Beach, Oregon is one of the many bright and brilliant Orange Benches from last summer. The bench is made from recycled steel and is powder coated. The designer describes a bench as a place for people to gather, pause an connect with each other. The contact bench was created to nurture relationships and to inspire new possibilities of playful connection. The photograph of the bench and its explanation are by Pam McDonald from Boise, who has been a stained glass artisan for over 30 years, with work in Las Vegas hotels, churches and elsewhere. Her website is at http://www.StainedGlass4u.com and her work also features in the World Oceans Day story on Benchsite.  

Orange 22 Design Lab, directed by Dario Antonioni, makes an eco-friendly collection of furniture called Botanist Lines. The image of Flight shown on the post is actually the coffee table version rather than the bench. The designer of Flight is Margo Chase, who explains her inspiration as the freedom of flight. In keeping with the socially responsible ethos of Orange 22, Flight is made from recycled metal alloys and sales benefit the Sierra Club  http://www.botanistseries.com  

Lady Brassica's beautiful net minidress is from Joop's Tourbillon de filet collection, made at his studio in Overbearing in Holland. Tamsin's orange dress is also made by Joop, though you can see why Joop is frustrated with trying to design dresses for Tamsin. He finds it very hard to deal with her large green feet so for this outfit he decided to give Lady B equally large green feet and he's pleased with the result; he intends to launch his groen voet collection later in the summer. For other dresses in the collection, including Tamsin's wedding dress,  see http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/romantic-white-benches.html 

The Dutch orange bench referred to is on the Leidsegracht in Amsterdam and is flanked by two Amsterdammertjes, which are placed to keep cars from driving or parking on the narrow sidewalks. The photographer is Anton, an Amsterdammer who enjoys sharing Amsterdam-related photos and information at http://www.flickr.com/photos/dutchamsterdam/  Anton and Janet publish DutchAmsterdam.com, an online guide to Amsterdam, as well as a source of Amsterdam-related news items at http://www.dutchamsterdam.nl  

The brilliant orange knitted bench is by Claire-Anne O'Brien  http://www.claireanneobrien.com Originally from County Cork in Ireland, Claire-Anne O'Brien lives and works in London producing textiles for furniture, space and product. Specialising in constructed textiles, material properties and textile technique are explored through hands-on experimentation. With a sculptural approach, Claire-Anne investigates form, construction and scale through textiles. Shows include London Design Festival, Milan Furniture Fair, Wool Modern and Spinexpo. In 2011 she received the Future Makers Award from the Crafts Council of Ireland.  

Brodie Neill's sculptural E-turn bench is handmade in lacquered fibreglass. It was made for Italian designers Kundalini at http://www.kundalini.it  E-turn's wrap-around form suggests eternity and explores an endless line of 3 dimensional space. Its twists and turns are reminiscent of a ribbon and its formation is dramatic from all angles. Brodie Neill now works in London at www.brodieneill.com

Eddie's favourite bench is from Red Door Antique in Tupelo, Mississippi. Golly, I'm thinking of that Bobby Gentry song about Billy Joe McAlister jumping off the Tallahatchee Bridge. Wasn't that in Tupelo? And didn't Brother marry Becky Thompson and buy a store in Tupelo? Surely not Red Door Antique? I'm getting carried away here. The owner of Red Door Antique is Linda Hale, who says that it's a small shop that's big inside.  www.reddoorantiquestupelo.com 

Park Bench Source is in Montgomery, Alabama. They have a LOT of commercial and residential benches made of steel, wood and aluminium. You can find any colour you like, and any design. You can have a logo on the bench. The orange welded wire one shown costs $645 and is available from www.parkbenchsource.com  

The seesaw bench is by Didi Dunphy at www.modernconvenience.com  She has other interesting rocking benches, including the Kissing Jim bench which features elsewhere on Bench Site. Find out how Mungo and I met in http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/gambling-on-love-in-las-vegas.html

Derrick Method is a furniture designer and artist in Indianapolis, Indiana. His current work uses sustainable and repurposed materials: he had a solo show of furniture created from reclaimed discarded library books. As well as furniture, he also creates prints, paper, books, and Shaker boxes. Derrick Method's SCB orange bench is made from reclaimed book covers and walnut.  www.derrickmethodesigns.com

I photographed the spiral of oranges at the V&A museum in London in May 2013 when I went there to see the David Bowie exhibition.  Although there are many wonderful things in the museum, I liked the oranges best of all. And the orange juice wasn't bad either. 

Moore Designs is a collaboration between husband and wife team Kim and Alex Moore in West Sussex. Metalsmith Alex Moore makes beautiful contemporary outdoor furniture such as curved metal benches from marine grade stainless steel. The benches are polished or powder- coated for hard wear and come in different colours, including orange. Besides the circular bench and the low backed curved metal bench shown here, Moore Designs make garden obelisks and a variety of accessories and gifts. www.mooredesigns.co.uk

The print of the white bench on orange is from Stella Chili, who lives in Nicosia in Cyprus. Stella is a graphic designer who likes to make things out of any material she has to hand. Besides handbags and accessories, she makes prints for her shop at www.etsy.com/shop/printsbystellachili  

The big orange sofa/bench was photographed by Monica Matthews in California. Her friend Maria highly recommends it as a place to relax. Being a primate, Eddie is understandably a bit sensitive about the whole zoo/captivity thing but he doesn't need to worry; despite the ties, this bench is at a furniture store and is free to go any time.  

The Buddist monks were photographed on a bench in the Jardin des Plantes in Paris in May. The photographer was Very Quiet (yes, that's the name) and I found the photograph at  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jardin_des_Plantes_May_2009.jpg
Eddie probably doesn't see the relevance of this to the post and as he was so stressed out, I didn't think I should point out that they are wearing orange. 

The campervan was seen on the VWT4 forum where people post stuff they have done to their VW campervans. Nice to see somebody else likes orange.

The watersports shelter is a photo taken by Sheila B. in Cyprus. Many of her photos feature on Bench Site; this one just happens to be orange. 

The orange bench and birds shirt is from Dan at www.etsy.com/shop/unknown arts  He does all kinds of shirts in all colours with all kinds of messages. This one just happens to be orange. It is no coincidence that this shirt is orange. 

Watson Gym manufactures quality, custom-built gym equipment at its factory in Frome, Somerset. They make dumbells, grip bars and, of course, bench presses. The Arched Incline benchpress is designed to give an intense chest workout by placing the chest high and in the perfect position for all forms of dumbell and barbell pressing. Its design puts a natural arch into the back and puts the load more onto the pecs and away from the triceps. It sells for £390 and is available from http://watsongym.co.uk

The handsome man on the rocks in California is by Sandy Matzen at Dreamstime Stock Photos  http://www.dreamstime.com/handsome-man-on-rocks2-stock-photo-imagefree215730

The Alto Flat Duo bench is by Danetti Interiors in Fleet, Hampshire. They have a whole range of contemporary furniture, including stylish benches in different styles and colours. This particular bench is no longer available but there are plenty of others at http://www.danetti.com 

The bowl of oranges is by Chrissie Shepherd at Dreamstime. http://www.dreamstime.com/oranges-in-ceramic-dish-free-stock-photos-imagefree239848

Jench's house is in Potirons in France. The pumpkin garden house was designed by Dallas Arboretum. The image is from Karen at www.lejardinetdesigns.com  Details of the garden house can be seen on her blog. Garçon's flat in Rotterdam is from the fantastic colouring book Fantastic Structures by Steve McDonald. 

The full story of Jench de Bench and his younger self, Garçon Orange, can be seen at http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/edible-benches-with-jench-de-bench.html  Having read about the Edible Bench debacle you'll be able to make up your own mind about what Garçon might be up to. Ami ou ennemi? You decide.



My lovely friend Fenestra and her dog Fudge on an orange bench at TK Maxx

If for some reason orange isn't your colour of choice, we have lots of other colours here on Benchsite. Romantic white benches, for example. Or springy yellow ones. Maybe you'd prefer red? If you're in a holiday mood, how about blue benches for Blue Monday? Or black benches for Black FridayPretty purple benches? No problem. There are sunny yellow benches for spring and sparkly gold and silver benches for parties. There are 50 shades of grey and pink benches to coincide with the release of That film. For more uplifting, upcycled benches see the green ones at http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/recycled-upcycled-repurposed-benches.html  Oh come on - somewhere there must be a colour you like!