Saturday, 20 December 2014

Another Ding Dong Christmas

It's all over! We've got through Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Panic Saturday.

And here on Paradise Island it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lindabowman/



Miggy's busy in the kitchen. We all want some figgy pudding and we want it right now.





We want chestnuts roasting on an open fire. 

Unfortunately, the men of Fribble and Drizzly seem to be having a difficult time bringing in the yule log.




http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Defense.gov

How hard can it be? In Victorian times, the children did it.



http://www.flickr.com/photos/nsarchives/11222221966/



Yet in the dark streets shineth the garland guerillas.




They're bringing glad tidings of comfort and joy, whether we want them or not. 

Our little Fribble-under-Par may lie still but it looks like Tinsel Town. 


http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikecogh/

The stockings are hung on the benches with care.







Whether St. Nicholas will soon be there or not, I don't know. At the moment he seems to be benched.



www.asianreplicas.com

My dog Sit has a very shiny nose. He doesn't look much like Rudolph though, does he?


http://www.flickr.com/photos/mujitra/


See amid the winter's snow a great deal of Christmas decorations going up. 

My imaginary husband Mungo is trying to put up the lights on Miggy's house. 


http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Christmas_decoration



We have one or two decorations on our house too. To the earth we give great light.



http://www.flickr.com/photos/kurtz433/



We're trying to bring joy to the world. But Elf and Safety is a nightmare.





Nevertheless, I'm dreaming of a white Christmas with every Christmas card I write.




And sure enough, it looks like all our Christmases may be white.






Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo! I can't imagine why.

Snow has fallen, snow on snow. Snow on snow on snow.


http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ryde_Esplanade by Lucy Boynton



I was going to run and have some fun before the snowpersons melted away.


www.etsy.com/shop/phiferart



But so it's been said many times, many ways: there's just too bloody much to do.

If we can just get everything done, it looks like we'll have ourselves a merry little Christmas. 



www.etsy.com/shop/mamamare

But first, we're gone a-wassailing all over town.



www.etsy.com/shop/curiousartlab

Some of the drinks are very good value this time of year.







Then, sleighbells ring. Are you listening? 

On the Lego benches snow is glistening. 



It's a beautiful site.

No, it isn't.  

Yes it is! 


Oh, it's lovely weather for a sleighride together with . . . well, I'm not sure who. 


My real husband, His Excellency, doesn't like the cold. He's not a jolly, happy soul. In fact, he's a grinch when it comes to Christmas.



www.etsy.com/shop/runningwithscissors


He was going to go away for Christmas but I stopped him. I said I'd have a blue, blue Christmas without him.



http://www.flickr.com/photos/kurtz433/

And now I have to find him a present. Yet what can I give him, poor as I am? 





Oh no, not the Christmas shopping thing again. I've already covered that. Started on Black Bench Friday this year. 

The gifts are wrapped and under the tree. If we had any children they would be gazing open-mouthed, taken by surprise.




www.etsy.com/shop/animalhairstuff


Yes, I have wrapped up our cats Rosie and Melissa.  That's not them in this package though.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/whimsicalwoodland/


As for Mungo, I've got him an unusual gift this year: myhrr. 

But now Miggy's saying it's not a suitable gift. Apparently its bitter perfume breathes a life of gathering gloom; it's a gift that leaves you cold.


What about an icicle bench then? It comes complete with its own goblin.



The Goblins' Christmas at http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/world/readfile?fk_files=1525623


In the dark streets of Fribble-under-Par, we hear the angels sing. And there's everlasting light shining upon the benches.



http://www.flickr.com/photos/jodax/



In fact, if you look-ed up, you'd see a star.



http://www.flickr.com/photos/25802865@N08/



And come Bench Monday-before-Christmas it's a candy cane Christmas bench, as sweet as can be.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/rovinggirlnotes/


Our cheeks are nice and rosy and comfy and cozy are we. 

We're binge-watching Christmas specials, snuggled up together on our benches.




www.etsy.com/shop/leddyslack


We're walking in the air. We're dancing on the bench-back sky.


©Alan Murray-Rust and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons license


Not everyone is decking the halls though. For some people, Christmas is just another day.


Lord Brassica, Fifth Earl of Drizzly, is a gentleman farmer so of course his work goes on year round.  His cattle benches are lowing.


http://www.popartdecoration.com/


The shepherds watch his flocks by night, though why they are all seated on the ground I don't know; there are plenty of sheep benches around.



http://www.philart.net


Lady Jessica is Lord Brassica's most highly favoured lady. Here she is on a bench some years ago, when their son Root was a baby. 





No, sorry. I have confused Lady B with Madonna here. 

No, not THAT Madonna. The one who isn't Like a Virgin. The one who actually is a virgin. 


After all these years it's good to see Mary and Joseph in a stable relationship. But I digress.


This is Lady B with Root's wife Innocent. The Holly and the Ivy. As you can see, they're both fully grown.






That's Lady Brassica on the right. She's the holly. And although this Christmas portrait might suggest a loving mother and daughter-in-law, you should know that the Holly bears a prickle as sharp as any thorn. Hmmmm.

Meanwhile, designer Joop has made Innocent a shiny ribbon dress for Christmas Eve.






As Lord Brassica would say, ding dong merrily on high.

This year Lady Jessica Brassica is missing Troy, who has been her constant companion since the summer. But now he has gone back to Dry Heaves, Minnesota and the other night Miggy saw Lady Jess kissing Santa Claus. 

He got on his mobile and told quite a few people about it. 




But as this is the time for peace on earth and good tidings towards all men and Ladies, we'll say no more. Silent night and all that.

Hey, I hear the jingling of bells! Here comes Santa Claus, big fat Santa Claus, right down Fribble Lane!  In fact, there are four of them.  


Golly, Santa gets younger every year.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/emusing-emma/


Even so, he still knows who's been naughty and nice.


www.etsy.com/shop/littlechameleons


Santa traverses afar bearing benches. It's exhausting work.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/ma1974/300288639


At least he's left us a commemorative bench to remember him by. 



http://www.flickr.com/photos/legup2p/


So here we are, Merry Christmas, everybody's having fun.

Here's Tamsin and The Octopus Girl having a girly night out with some angels they heard on high down at the Dustpan and ipod.




All in all, we're walking in a winter wonderland. Occasionally we stop to sit on a beautifully decorated bench. 



http://www.flickr.com/photos/abbyrowed/

It only remains to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

So, from all of us on Paradise Island  . . . 





                              A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Credits

Linda Bowman picked up photography while going through chemotherapy eight years ago. It is now a part of her everyday life and reflects how she sees the beauty of the world. I am delighted to see that this includes benches in some very beautiful settings.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lindabowman/

You've probably guessed that it's not a yule log being bench-pressed. This is a photo of pararescueman applicants bench pressing a wooden log in a mud pit during a screening process held by the Air Force 306th Rescue Squadron in Tucson, Ariz. In this test the applicants do a timed 3-mile run, 1500- meter swim, calisthenics, and other various tasks. The photo was taken by Airman 1st Class Veronica Pierce, U.S. Air Force on April 21, 2006. This image is a work of a U.S. military or Department of Defense employee, taken or made as part of that person's official duties. As a work of the U.S. federal government, the image is in the public domain.

If you're fond of yule logs there's a special log bench post at http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/log-benches-just-logs-and-cake.html  Warning: this post also contains cake. 

The Victorian Christmas card is from the Nova Scotia archives on Flickr Commons at http://www.flickr.com/photos/nsarchives/11222221966/   It's so great to see all these local archives coming into the Commons. Already I've used Florida, Newcastle and Tyne, Missouri, and some of the Northern Ireland, Canadian and Australian archives. What a treasure trove of stuff there will be from all over the world! 

Mike Cogh lives in Adelaide and photographed the Tinsel Bench in December 2011. It's included in Benches of the World Group. Mike has an extensive set of Humble Bench photographs at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikecogh/

'Making the Empire Christmas pudding' is an artwork by F C Harrison produced for the Empire Marketing Board sometime between 1926 and 1939.  http://www.flickr.com/photos/nationalarchives/5263978078/   For the really curious, here is the full list of ingredients.


http://www.flickr.com/photos/nationalarchives/5263978078/


The benched Santa is from Asian Replicas, who make a huge variety of lifesize statues and furniture in the Philippines www.asianreplicas.com   Elsewhere on Benchsite you will find their edible benches such as tacos and ice creams. Youll also see their Siberian tiger on Noah's Ark at http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/noahs-ark-benches-for-world-animal-day.html

Ryde Esplanade in Snow was taken by Lucy Boynton in December 2010. If you've ever had a ticket to Ryde, you'll know this is on the Isle of Wight where, usually, there isn't much snow. Lucy loves taking pictures and there are lots of great ones on her photostream at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/boynton/  I found the Ryde Esplanade snow benches at  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ryde_Esplanade_during_snow_December_2010.jpg

You might have guessed that the prettily decorated little gingerbread house was too small to be Miggy's house. It's a Christmas decoration at a shopping mall in Porto Alegre in Brazil. I saw it at  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Christmas_decoration_(DSC04820).jpg?uselang=en-gb

If you ever need a brilliant card for a gay or lesbian wedding, you can find one at Mamamare. They have a whole range of gay wedding, love and romance cards and also this lovely Christmas card of domestic bliss round the Christmas tree. Luckily, there happens to be a little red sofa in the picture, so it's just right for Benchsite.  www.etsy.com/shop/Mamamare

The dog in the Santa hat is a Merry Christmas dog, photographed by Miki Yoshihito, who lives in Sapporo City in Japan. Miki obviously likes dogs as there are a lot on his photostream, along with many interesting pictures of life in Japan. http://www.flickr.com/photos/mujitra/  If you like dogs you might like to see some dog benches


Stacy Scissors in Tucson has the best name of all Etsy shops: Running with Scissors. She describes her shop as emo, scene, rockabilly, kitsch, rocker, and hardcore bling, in other words, stuff for the sweet and evil side of every girl. There is all kinds of jewelry, including razorblade necklaces and the bright and blingy Bah Humbug necklace. If you have a look at her shop, you're in for a treat. www.etsy.com/shop/runningwithscissors 

Christmas shopping already has a post of its own. I put it up when there were just 19 benches left til Christmas. It contains lots of great shopping ideas for the bench-centrics among us. http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/just-x-shopping-benches-til-christmas.html   This year shopping was pretty much centred on Black Friday. Do we have Black Friday benches here on Benchsite? We certainly do!


The little winter scene with sleigh ride is apparently not an official Winter village set, in case you need to know that. It's a 109 piece set that was available as a limited-edition for the 2012 holiday season. It was apparently free with the purchase of $100 worth of other Lego sets, or $15 as a stand-alone. So now you know. I saw it on Wikicommons at  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Lego_2012_Holiday_Set_-_3300014_(8310672569).jpg

Anna Mulhearn in Liverpool likes to relish the ridiculous and highlight the  hilarious. Her shop is Animal Hair Stuff, which sells, well, stuff, especially prints and greeting cards. This includes a set of greeting cards for Christmas featuring a cat wrapped up in green ribbon. No, it's not my cat, but I love the cards.  www.etsy.com/shop/animalhairstuff    And by the way, here on Benchsite we've got cat benches aplenty. 


Back in September when my husbands were slugging it out over the Workbench post, I was lucky enough to find this beautiful Wassail workbench. It's from CuriousArtLab, which is described by its creator, Leah Palmer Preiss, as a wunderkammer of art, oddments and curiosities. There I found what Leah describes as a pair of Santa's elves, toasting each other for a job well done, at the end of a long day of woodworking on a tight deadline ... Their workbench is still scattered with the tools of their trade (inspired by Joseph's tools in Campin's Mérode Altarpiece), along with a generous bowl of wassail. Odd, curious, arty - what a shop!  www.etsy.com/shop/CuriousArtLab

R. Kurtz lives in Oakland, California  and photographed the blue tree lights in December 2011. This Garden of Delights is presented every Christmas season at the Norfolk Botanical Gardens. He also photographed the house lit up with lights, which is not my house but a house in Chesapeake, seen at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/kurtz433/    If you like blue, you might like to see some blue benches for a Blue Monday

Roving Girl loves light and all things that glow. And she has a secret: she loves candy canes so much that she conjured up a magic candy cane vine and now she can have candy canes all year round. Good idea! Roving Girl does a lot of Bench Mondays so there are some great bench pictures on her photostream, as well as many others. http://www.flickr.com/photos/rovinggirlnotes/

Pop Art Decoration is a young company specialising in decoration and visual design for homes and businesses. They have a whole range of themed products, including life-size animal furniture like the cow sofa. http://www.popartdecoration.com/store/furniture/sofas/cow-bench/ And speaking of cows, Lord Brassica is something of an expert. Let him show you the cream of bovine benches

The sheep bench is one of several bench sculptures called Eastwick Park Farm, made by Rosalie Sherman in 1983 as part of the ongoing Philadelphia Public Art project. It includes a vast array of public art: 846 sculptures, fountains, mosaics, memorials and, of course, benches, scattered all around Philadelphia. There are driving site tours and maps for locating the art. The scale of the Philart project is really quite something and it's being added to all the time.  http://www.philart.net/   Here on Benchsite there are some really baaaaaad sheep benches at http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/baaaaad-sheep-benches.html


Madonna and Child on a Grass Bench is a painting from about 1470. I am not sure who the painter was but Dieric Bouts is referred to and he lived from 1450-1499 so you get the basic idea - this painting is old. It is oil and tempera on an oak panel and was acquired in 1928 by the Rijksmuseum Twenthe in Enschede. It's still there so should you find yourself in the eastern Netherlands, you could pop in and see it. http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Madonna_and_Child_-_Follower_of_Dieric_Bouts.jpg    And while you're there, why not see some other Dutch benches? You don't even need to travel; there's a whole alphabet of Dutch benches here on Benchsite. 


Santa on a bench making a mobile phone call is not something you see every day. Papa Noel was in Distrito C in Madrid when this photo was taken by M. Peinado in 2009. I found it on Wikimedia at  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Madrid_-_217.JPG

The Four Little Santas on a bench were at the Great Santa Run in Edinburgh in 2009. They were photographed by emusing Emma, who saw, among many others, fat Santa, skinny Santa, running Santa, walking Santa, limping Santa, Santa on crutches, happy Santa, sad Santa, waving Santa, photographer Santa, green Santa, real Santa, Santa paws, Mrs Claus, little elf, little reindeer, sniffly Santa, yawning Santa, eating Santa, drinking Santa, baby Santa, fast Santa, slow Santa, naughty but nice Santas, romantic Santa, solitary Santa, twin Santas, old Santa, young Santa, runaway Santa, drumming Santa, and my cousin Santa! Some of them are on Emma's photostream at http://www.flickr.com/photos/emusing-emma/

Mandy Parsons took the photo of the lovely white Christmas bench with a wrapped package, which is definitely not my cats. Mandy photographs lots of holidays, concerts, places, and stuff she's made. Her photo sets are at http://www.flickr.com/photos/whimsicalwoodland/

On the 'icicle bench' two goblins peek over the top of a decorative line. This image is from M.E. (Elizabeth) Anderson's The Goblins' Christmas, published in 1908. Illustrations are by Alexander Sharp. From the Project Gutenberg e-books. This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook at www.gutenberg.org
 

Jodakila Galang (Jodax) took the photo of the coloured lights in 2008. It was part of a Garden d'Lights in Bellevue Botanical Gardens near Seattle. That's all I know about Jodax but I really enjoyed his photo sets at http://www.flickr.com/photos/jodax/

Choo Yut Shing from Singapore took the photo of the bench under a red star. It was in the pedestrian mall, Orchard Road, during the festive season in 2010. Choo likes benches and there are some brilliant ones in his photostream at http://www.flickr.com/photos/25802865@N08/



Balancing Act is a person who appears to be walking on top of a bench in Colwick Country Park. It was photographed by Alan Murray-Rust for Geograph in February 2009. http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Balancing_act_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1163787.jpg    Walking along the back of a bench is just one of the 31 things you can do on a bench. See them all at http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/31-things-to-do-on-bench.htm

Little Chameleons in Bishop Stortford make handmade personalised children's toy boxes and furniture. This includes the little blue Naughty Bench. SuperNanny would surely approve.   www.etsy.com/shop/littlechameleons

Christopher Rotter in New York makes lovely little people of all kinds,including the couple on the bench. They might be part of a Christmas Village, or they may be someone I know here in Fribble. To see all these lovely little people go to Christopher's shop Leddy Slack at www.etsy.com/shop/leddyslack


The Santa lying down on the bench is called Bænkebidder and it's by Ma1974 in Naestved, Sjaelland in Denmark. https://www.flickr.com/photos/ma1974/300288639/  Ma1974  understands Danish and English and some Swedish and Norwegian. She understands very little German and a few words of French and Dutch. About this picture the photographer poses the question Julemanden laver hvad på bænken? Which, according to my limited Danish, means What is Santa Claus doing on the bench? A question I have already asked myself. 


Randy Britt (Randiana) lives near Santa Claus, Indiana. Seriously. Randy tells me that Santa Claus is a small town in southern Indiana that was founded some 60 or 70 years ago with one man's dream of building a small "town" specifically based on tales of Santa. Early on it was a very small collection of specialty shops for all-things-Christmas, later to be incorporated as the town of Santa Claus, complete with a US Post Office that hand-cancels mail at Christmas time with an ornate post mark. Many locals carry their Christmas Greeting cards over to be mailed with that post mark. Randy admits that the town goes a little over-the-top with decorations for Christmas!  http://www.flickr.com/photos/legup2p/

Abigail Noonan is a graphic designer in Washington DC. She photographs her friends and activities, including the beautiful Christmas bench with a red bow, on her photostream at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/abbyrowed/


Lady Jessica Brassica is a fashionista and former model with Studio Joop from Overbearing in Holland. Now she has her own fashion house at Ballyfrumpy in County Offhand in Ireland where she designs woolly warm fashions for autumn. She loves shopping at her replica mall and having poetry read by Young Male Readers dot com. She is happily married to Lord Brassica, Fifth Earl of Drizzly, a gentleman farmer and expert on both cows and picnic benches. But this summer Lady Jess has been spending rather a lot of time at her beach hut with Troy. Sadly, Troy departed for his home in Dry Heaves, Minnesota at Thanksgiving. But before he left he showed us some terrific turkey benches

Innocent is the daughter-in-law of Lord and Lady Brassica. Since her wedding to their numpty son Root, Innocent has emerged from her convent nursing dress into something of a fashion icon. Now Lady B and Innocent are what you might call competitive in the fashion stakes. Warning: there was nothing sparkly about the silver/gold fashion debacle at new year's eve

Many of the Fribble and Drizzly folk have turned out to wish you a merry Christmas. In the photo below, right to left in the back row is Police Constable Willie Wyme, best known for his illegal smile benches. Mikey the Mariner knows all about ocean benches, and boat benches too.  Root (future Sixth Earl of Drizzly) is a bit of a waster, but still he can tell you about bus stop benches, party benches and, in his own weird way, sleeping on benches. Tamsin has an interesting totally daft perspective on life, and benches. Angel Angela is, well, angelic. The two older folk are Noah, keeper of the ark and saver of animal benches, and Miggy's Mum, who knits a mean guerilla bench scarf. Front left is Emily Hardhat, an expert on bridge benches.Tonks the horse would like it known that he is not lean and lank and he has no intention of dashing through the snow pulling a lot of lazy people in a sled. Tonks has already done his bit for Benchsite, having been one of the 2014 Year of the Horse Benches.

In the middle are Lord Brassica, Lord Brassica's dog Pru, Tamsin's baby Isambard (origin unknown), and, of course, Hello Kitty. Each of these has a story to tell on other Benchsite posts. If you're meeting them for the first time, go to Who's Who in Fribble and that will tell you all you need to know. 




Sunday, 14 December 2014

Log benches. Just logs. And cake.

My best friend is Miggy. Although she's imaginary, time is short in the Christmas rush so she's going to help me with this post about log benches. 

Go on then, Migs. You start. 

Miggy: It's nice to have a yule log this time of year.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/yongjiet/3121164565

Are you sure this is a log, Miggy?

It's a yule log, yes.

Are you sure it's a bench? 

There's a little deer sitting on it. And it's time to be getting the log benches in for Christmas.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/felibrilu/11239452344

This isn't a bench. It isn't even a log. It's a Christmas cake.

No, it isn't. This is a Christmas cake.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/87959586@N03/8048479841

Come on, Miggy. You know that log is a cake.

Well, yes, in one sense it's a cake. In that you can eat it. But it's a log. 
Shall we call it a yule log? 

Fair enough, Migs. But I meant this kind of log.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/vox/52667243 

Oh, I see. The kind you make a bench from.

Exactly. This is Benchsite, remember.  B-E-N-C-H . . .

You don't have to spell it out. 

Anyway. It's time to be bringing in the yule log for the fire.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/cpstorm/67362576

I already said that.

Everyone likes a nice fire whilst watching the Christmas repeats specials.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/megaul/4167878788

Yes, and whilst opening their presents.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/eugene/3162264971 

This present wouldn't be a cake by any chance?

Of course. Who doesn't want cake for Christmas? 

Logs, Miggy. This is a blog about logs.

I wouldn't really want a log for Christmas.

Log Benches.  

But isn't it going to be very boring looking at log benches? One log looks much like another.



http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Zusmarshausen-Holzh


No, not at all! Wood has distinctive grains, like this glossy one.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/probonobaker/5288129821
This is a cake. 

Is it? 

Yes, it's a bûche de noël made with chocolate fondant pine cones and matcha marzipan pine needles.

It's hard to tell the difference, isn't it?

Not at all. You can sit on a log and drink your hot chocolate. 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/freeformkatia/2273716055

Well duh. You can't sit on a cake though. Can you? 

You can actually. Here are three little birdies sitting on a yule log.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/photoverulam/3142201432

The thing is, there is a fine line between a bench and a log. 





This bench in Ireland has become at one with the tree.


https://www.facebook.com/RareIrishStuff/photos/

Wow! This bench is a star.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/probonobaker/4204802239

What is this?

It's a bûche de noël made with chocolate genoise and bittersweet glaze. The shooting star is mendiants with candied violets, gold dragees, and freeze dried strawberries, mangoes, and blueberries.

I can see that. By why is it here?

Well, I referred to stars and this is a shooting star . . .

Just stick to the point will you.

OK, here is a stick bench for you. 


https://www.flickr.com/photos/lithuania

Nice. 

This log has already been made into a bench.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/idiolector/8636742804/


Unlike here, where the logs are waiting to be cut up.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/eldriva/13954008473

Are these logs cakes by any chance?

I couldn't possibly comment. 

Here is a green log bench which sits naturally in the forest.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/easypickle/1300186442

It doesn't look green to me. This looks green:


https://www.flickr.com/photos/sorakirei/4227130731

I'm going to overlook this cake and move on.

As we have seen previously, a log bench can be ever so plane plain.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/threeseamonsters/3585274590


If we've seen these previously, why do we have to see them again? Why can't we see some log benches which are more than just . . . logs? Something with a few frills.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/probonobaker/5243350494

Miggy, this is a cake and you know it.

Yes, its a bûche de noël in a Belgian chocolate cage, made with almond dacquoise, vanilla genoise, framboise syrup, raspberry buttercream, Belgian chocolate glaze, and gold dragees

Can we get back on the subject now?  Here are some logs which have been value-added into comfy seats.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/caribb/ 

Or you can just take bits of wood lying around and make a bench. 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/mikecogh/10187958544


There is no need to log the rainforest for wood to make benches.

http://rfny.net/

Just walking along the beach you can find a driftwood bench out of whatever you have to hand.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/carensilvestri


I have a Mars bar to hand so I guess I could make a bench like this. 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/hartnupj/145720754


Stop it, Migs! You are ruining this blog.

What? It's not a cake. 

L-O-G-S. It's log benches we're discussing. 

I guess you wish you hadn't axed me to help you.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/nothing/5150721

I'm going to rise above that and press on.

Oh, very funny. I see what you're doing there: Bench. Press.


http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Defense.gov

I'm going to ask you to log off in a minute. Got that? L-O-G  O-F-F! 

You better chill out, Seashell. Logs can do strange things to people. 


https://www.flickr.com/photos/dalboz17/152282514

Remember the Log Lady in Twin Peaks?

As I was saying, a log bench can be simple, like this three piece suite sofa and chairs.


http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Three_Carved_Benches


Or it can be decorative, like these chainsaw otters.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/anguskirk/7348432036

Do otters use chainsaws?

I'm going to ignore that and show you how a log bench can be dressed with decorative log pillows.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/kgnixer/8036969590

Clever. I like the variation in colours and contours. Rather like this log I came across recently. 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/foodiebaker/8300025824


I'm not fooled by this, Miggy. There are forks here: this is cake.

OK, I confess. I have sneaked in a yule log here. It's Christmas, after all.

You have sabotaged this bench blog with cakes. 

Sorry. I'm a rubbish editor. I better get back to my kitchen.




There are more cakes than benches in this story.

True, but at least I haven't set fire to any benches. 

Unlike your husband, who has destroyed some very valuable benches.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/val_s/5924398105

Yes, His Excellency set fire to a designer bench without realising it cost me twenty thousand pounds. 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/nov2874/15267764389

He confused it with a log bench I guess.

It's easily done. Hey! What's this?

Just a little log fire I thought you'd appreciate.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/probonobaker/5088255992

It's not my designer bench is it?

Good heavens no. It's a bûche chocolate-walnut-rum torte. The logs are sandwiched with plum jam and covered with nocino ganache. The embers are covered with confectioners sugar, the flames are candied orange peel and caramel makes the flames and sparks.

Sounds delicious! We'll have to hurry though.

These guys seem to have their eyes on it.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/proctorarchives/4701017864

Quick! Let's find a log bench to sit on and eat the whole thing.


https://www.flickr.com/photos/boxchain/3167459312


Credits


Miggy is my best imaginary friend. I love her dearly but good heavens she drives me crazy. She's obsessed with cake, which in one way is a good thing because she runs the Make a Wish Cafe here in Fribble-under-Par. By cafe I really mean cake shop because mainly she sells cakes. 





The Christmas yule log (cake) at the start of the story was made by Yongjiet in 2008. https://www.flickr.com/photos/yongjiet/3121164565  Yongjiet's albums include art, sport, food, drinks and desserts. 

The multi-coloured yule log is by Felibrilu at
https://www.flickr.com/photos/felibrilu/11239452344   There is nothing at all in Felibrilu's profile but the photostream reveals cake, buildings, and a certificate of participation for visiting Glasgow's underground vaults. 


Sarah from Coventry is an amateur baker and cake decorator who made the Christmas cake from brandy, fruit, and marzipan in 2011. She confesses to loving the decorating more than the baking. Apparently she always goes a bit over the top with royal icing. She made all of the decorations with plain fondant as she didn't want them to go too hard. The holly leaves were just cut out with a small star cutter and stretched. Her photostream is full of cakes https://www.flickr.com/photos/87959586@N03/8048479841

Ross from Ann Arbor, Michigan is a member of his local Help Save the Ash group. He loves forests. For him, stumbling upon an ash log bench in Bird Hills Park in 2005 was an unexpectedly emotional moment because it's a log from an adult ash tree, killed by the borer. https://www.flickr.com/photos/vox/52667243

The little boy bringing in the yule log was photographed by C.P. Storm, who lives near Ottawa. https://www.flickr.com/photos/cpstorm/67362576 

Meg is a paparazzi currently living in Portland. She photographed her favourite holiday movie - the yule log and the elf - in 2009. There is a fire, of sorts, going on in front of the TV. https://www.flickr.com/photos/megaul/4167878788

The Christmas present cake was photographed by Eugene Wei from Santa Monica in 2008 https://www.flickr.com/photos/eugene/3162264971 


When travelling in Germany I always admire the way they stack their wood, and the arty things they make with it. The log shelter house with a bench in front was photographed by Franzfoto in 2012 and available on Wikicommons at 
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Zusmarshausen-Holzh%C3%BCtte_mit_Sitzbank,_Einladung_Hock_di_na_02.jpg

Several of the beautiful log cakes are from distopian dream girl at Flickr in 2010. The frilly bûche de noël in a chocolate cage  is at  https://www.flickr.com/photos/probonobaker/5243350494.  The shooting star bûche de noël is at  https://www.flickr.com/photos/probonobaker/4204802239 and the bûche de noël - chocolate woodgrain  is at https://www.flickr.com/photos/probonobaker/5288129821 Finally, the campfire buche chocolate-walnut-rum torte logs and embers is at https://www.flickr.com/photos/probonobaker/5088255992  

Maja is the little girl who enjoyed her hot chocolate on a log bench in 2008. The photo was taken by Katia Strieck who is from Ontario but now lives in Philadelphia.  https://www.flickr.com/photos/freeformkatia/2273716055


Three little birdies sitting on a log is a photograph by Richard Gillin, who is a beancounter trying to prove we're not all as dull as... Well, whatever. Richard lives in St Albans in  Hertfordshire and commutes to the Smoke every day to earn a crust. He tries occasionally to take a decent photograph or two and this includes photos for the Chocoholics group. https://www.flickr.com/photos/photoverulam/3142201432/in/photolist-962d8p-5MEB1L

The shiny log bench was one we saw at a campsite in Vlotho, Germany. There are lots of campsites in Germany, and lots of logs. Come to think of it, there are lots of cakes too.

The Hungry Tree is the tree that has grown around the bench in the Kings Inns in Dublin, Ireland. The photograph was sent to me via Facebook https://www.facebook.com/RareIrishStuff/photos/a.115622905188373.28065.114988765251787/555614887855837/ For more crazy Irish benches see http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/st-patricks-top-o-irish-benches.html

The Bench a Tree Built was photographed by Judy Paris in 2007 at the Planting Fields Arboretum on Long Island's North Shore, on the grounds of the former Coe Family Estate. Judy explains that in 1915, when the family estate in Massachusetts was scheduled to be subdivided, the family decided to rescue two mature copper beeches. The trees were barged across Long Island Sound in the dead of the winter. It was one of the largest tree moving operations in the Northeast. One copper beech survived the trip. The other did not and this bench, as well as some other structures in the garden, came from that. https://www.flickr.com/photos/lithuania2008/3058886145/

Kevin, aka Idiolector 1.3, photographed Log Wizard, the bench with a chainsaw on it, in 2013. https://www.flickr.com/photos/idiolector/8636742804/  Although I love his photos, especially Street Art and Litteralism, I'm not even going to try summarising Kevin's profile. It involves krypto-pedestrianism and quite a few photos of dog pooh.

The pile of logs cake was baked in 2014 by Eldriva, who has the most fabulous cakes in her photostream. Don't take my word for it - have a look! https://www.flickr.com/photos/eldriva/13954008473

Greg is from Pittsburgh, currently living in Seattle. He has some glorious photos of Seattle, my old home town, and he has also photographed a number of log benches, some of which are very difficult to distinguish from logs. In his photograph All natural furniture (2007), he poses the question Log or Bench?  
https://www.flickr.com/photos/easypickle/1300186442  The log bench, found in Karlsruhe in 2007, is certainly natural. Greg says, quite rightly, that it's the Fallingwater of park benches. 

Rebecca Carlson lives in Bethal Park, USA and loves taking photos of awesome rock bands around Pittsburgh. She photographed the slice of green Christmas cake in 2009 https://www.flickr.com/photos/sorakirei/4227130731

The plane plain bench with a plain plane on it is a silver maple log left over from milling. It was photographed by Jason Nemec from Ottawa in 2009. Jason is an art director by day, a woodworker by night. He makes beautiful stuff from logs. https://www.flickr.com/photos/threeseamonsters/3585274590



Doug lives in Montreal and photographs lovely things in Quebec like autumn leaves, and luscious-looking food, and the log bench with white chairbacks. This design of bench is not unique to Quebec though; Dutch designer Jurgen Beys made a very upmarket Tree Trunk Bench back in 1998, which is one of my Alphabet of Dutch Benches. Doug's photostream is at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/caribb/  and he's also on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. 

Mike Coghlan from Adelaide is one of the most prolific bench photographers I have come across. I keep checking his photostream to see what's new and I'm never disappointed. This time I'm using his Bench with Character, a rustic-style bench made from logs.He saw it at Deep Creek in South Australia in 2013  https://www.flickr.com/photos/mikecogh/10187958544


The protest sign about benches in Washington Square were from Rainforests of New York at http://rfny.net/  The protest took place in Washington Square, New York City on  April 22, 2011. I saw it on Flickr at https://www.flickr.com/photos/rfny2011/5644495964


The beautiful driftwood bench looking out to sea is on the California coast at Cambria. It was photographed by Caren Silvestri, a Southern California native, who loves landscapes and macro photos of nature subjects in the garden and at the beach. Oceans, mountains, deserts - as she says, in Southern California they have it all. Her shop is at http://www.etsy.com/shop/carensilvestri



The Mars bar was photographed in 2006 by John Hartnup, a computer guy from Leamington Spa in the UK. John says he's not the only John, but a John. He has no eccentricities. None. As for the Mars bar, it's now one of the many photos in the Mars Bar group    https://www.flickr.com/photos/hartnupj/145720754

Tom Burke is from Hilo, Hawaii but currently lives in Reykjavik, Iceland. He's fairly tall and works as a miscellaneous problem solver. He took the photograph of the ax in the logs way back in 2005 https://www.flickr.com/photos/nothing/5150721


Pararescuemen applicants were bench pressing a wooden log in a mud pit during a screening process held by the Air Force 306th Rescue Squadron in Tucson, Ariz. In this test the applicants do a timed 3-mile run, 1500- meter swim, calisthenics, and other various tasks. The photo was taken by Airman 1st Class Veronica Pierce, U.S. Air Force on April 21, 2006. This image is a work of a U.S. military or Department of Defense employee, taken or made as part of that person's official duties. As a work of the U.S. federal government, the image is in the public domain.  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Defense.gov

Creepy King Me is MattDe Turck, who is a photographer and graphic designer in Rochester, New York. The photo was taken in Rochester Park in 2006  https://www.flickr.com/photos/dalboz17/152282514


The Three Carved Benches were near Llangollen Canal, photographed by Paul Farmer for Geograph in 2009
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Three_Carved_Benches_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1243928.jpg?uselang=en-gb


The carved bench with otters and fish was photographed by Angus Kirk in 2012 at Rooksbury Mill Local Nature Reserve in Andover, UK. https://www.flickr.com/photos/anguskirk/7348432036

The decorative log pillows were see on a bench inside a nail spa. They were photographed in  2012 by KG Nixer, aka niXerKG, who is a web developer in Chicago.   https://www.flickr.com/photos/kgnixer/8036969590

The white and chocolate log cake with Varlhona Chocolate Mousse is apparently a healthier version - healthier than what, I'm not sure. It was made and photographed in  2012 by foodiebaker.com  I saw it at https://www.flickr.com/photos/foodiebaker/8300025824  I know nothing about Foodie Baker but her photostream is full of, um, food. Lots of it. Food fabulous food. And an album from Cambodia. 

I have two husbands. One is Mungo, my imaginary husband, who features in lots of other Benchsite stories. The other is His Excellency, who has a reputation for destruction, even when he means well. He's a philosopher and, to say the least, not a very practical person. In the past two autumns he has unwittingy burned two very expensive designer benches. Last year this was forgiveable because we had to keep warm. But this year . . . well, he fell for it again. You can appreciate his difficulties if you know his history. Mungo, on the other hand, keeps a good workbench. Read about both of them at  http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/workbench-wonders-two-husbands-lots-of.html

I covered burning benches last autumn and there are quite a few benches on fire, one way or another, on the internet. The burning bench shown here is by Valentine Svennson from Stockholm. Photographed in 2003, it is one of several fires in his Retro collection. I'm not going to ask whether Valentine started the bench fire. https://www.flickr.com/photos/val_s/5924398105


Nov2874 has some lovely photographs in his Ride Around the Countryside album, including the burning log in the fireplace, photographed in 2014. https://www.flickr.com/photos/nov2874/15267764389 I am pleased to say that this log is not the expensive designer log bench I purchased in Japan. Phew! That's twenty thousand pounds saved then. 


The men on the benches in front of the fire were students at Proctor in the 1950s. Proctor Academy is in Andover in New Hampshire. There's an Andover in old Hampshire too but no academy there as far as I know.The photo is from the Proctor Archives at https://www.flickr.com/photos/proctorarchives/4701017864


The slice of cake with a knive is a 2008 photograph by Alex Cockroach. He says D's mom made the cake and it was yummy. Alex Cockroach is a resident of Bywater, which is the upper 9th ward in New Orleans. His photostream includes from photos of benches under water. https://www.flickr.com/photos/boxchain/3167459312  And speaking of cockroaches, there are some brilliant insect benches at http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2015/06/national-insect-week-buzz-about-benches.html


If you'd like to tuck into more edible benches we have plenty on Benchsite.
http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/edible-benches-with-jench-de-bench.html  Try a tasty Italian one at  
http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/tasty-italian-benches.html  or some very nice ice cream benches at http://benchsite.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/we-all-scream-for-ice-cream-benches.html